Same Song, Different Dance
by Nina La Vough
Summary: The music is still the same, but the dance has changed. A tough case, time in Kansas, and drunken conversations with Matt Seely lead to a new dance.
1. Stuck on the Hamster Wheel

**Nina's been quietfor a while now. She's been mulling over several story ideas and there are a few more in the hopper...it's just life and all it's craziness gets in the way and for that she apologizes. This time Nina is embodied by jmkw, madmadambeth, and nccjfan.**

**And none of us have anything to do with Crossing Jordan.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter One**

**Stuck on the Hamster Wheel**

She loved to watch him sleep. The little lines on his face softened, making him look more like the enthusiastic, naive cop she met in that bank so many years ago. How he's changed. Wounded ideals and living with the rest of the harsh realities a career of dealing with the worst elements a big city can offer had hardened him. He was leaner, the lines on his face more defined, and yet, instead of showing signs of the burn-out she assumed would end up eating him alive, Woody seemed to thrive on it. They both did. How they've both changed...for the better and for worse.

Her fingers stole through his short hair one last time before she quietly climbed out of his warm bed and disappeared into the night.

* * *

Woody woke up to the sound of his alarm clock beep and swung his arm across the bed to slap the snooze button. He didn't need to open his eyes to know she was gone. She always was. He knew the only body heat on that side of the bed was his own. He wrapped his arm around the empty pillow and buried his face in its softness finding it a piss-poor substitute.

Regret can come in so many different levels. On one hand, he wasn't apologetic for where they're relationship stood. His better judgment warned him he was courting disaster by giving in to temptation. Neither of them was emotionally stable enough at the moment to handle what was happening, but he -- even with all his noble convictions -- he couldn't stop himself. Just like those unforgettable little kisses in the desert, it was inevitable that it was just a matter of time before he and Jordan rediscovered what they found on a snowy night in the middle of nowhere. He was either going to have her again or he was going to die...and he had a lot to live for.

But on the other hand he felt like he was a hamster on a wheel, stuck spinning in place, never moving ahead. Jordan had made it perfectly clear she agreed with him. She wasn't ready for any stifling romantic entanglements. It wasn't in her. She was perfectly happy with this "arrangement" they had fallen into. As far as she was concerned, they had the best of both worlds. Woody just concerned it was just friends with benefits

He only had himself to blame. Weeks, months had passed since that late January morning they called they're emotional time-out. It was like as the ice that clogged the Charles River melted away with the longer days Spring, so did Woody's resolve to keep his distance.

As the craziness began to settle, Woody found himself thinking that finally...after years of growth and maturing, he and Jordan could move ahead of their shortcomings and finally, truly, be together.

It started one unseasonably sweltering hot evening in May. A young child was dead and her mother's boyfriend charged with involuntary manslaughter. The case was open and shut in the blink of a preverbal eye. Other than the obvious atrocities of the crime, as homicides go, it was barely open long enough to cause a blip on the radar. He and Jordan did their jobs. The case was tied up with an ironclad bow. Outside of a line or two in the local section of the newspaper the next morning and a 60 second six-o-clock, politically charged newscast forecasting an early and bloody season for the poorest inner city neighborhoods. From experience Woody knew the little girl would fade to just a foot note once her killer was sentenced.

Somehow it didn't feel _over_ for either of them. He found her in the crypt that night, standing over the abused, little body apologizing for the final indignity of having to spend the night on a hard slab in a dark drawer. There in a room of cold bodies, he didn't stop her when she leaned into his warmth. She didn't stop him when his lips searched for hers to try and find something good and pure out of so much ugliness around them. She said she didn't think she could stand being alone that night. He knew he couldn't. Together they left. He took her back to his apartment and they did what came naturally to chase the shadows away.

When he woke up alone, Woody knew nothing had changed. He could still smell her, taste her...feel her moving against him...but they were still dancing around the idea of being a couple.

That was two months ago and that hamster wheel was still turning. The little voice in his head told him he was giving up. He found himself justifying the no-strings relationship he was in with her. The platonic side of their friendship was stronger then ever. Their symbiotic-like working relationship was recognized...maybe even envied for its efficiency and success. But romantically they both still seemed to be on a different page. He tried to talk to her. She admitted she loved him. Love wasn't the problem. She loved what they had together but she didn't think she could offer anymore...

When the alarm beeped again, Woody sat up and scrubbed the sleepiness from his face with the heels of his hands. He could spend the day analyzing and cross-analyzing his love-life. He had...far too many times. He tried to read into every moment but all he was sure of was that it boiled down to a knock on the door followed by a few passionate hours and if he was lucky, ended with a little note on his refrigerator asking him to call if he wanted to catch lunch later.

He climbed out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Out of habit he reached for his toothbrush and grabbed the wrong one. He had to smile as he put it back. Outside of a few stray hairs on his pillow case that simple toothbrush was the only sign Jordan was ever in his apartment. He picked up a bright purple toothbrush on his way home from work.

He cajoled and teased her about it. "Today a toothbrush, tomorrow maybe you'll stay. I liked waking up next to you in The Lucy Carver Inn, Jordan." She thanked him kindly and reminded him that if they woke up together they'd never make it to work on time.

"One step forward, two steps back..." he mumbled around his own toothbrush. He wasn't too discouraged. He wasn't going away. The music may be the same, but their dance was different.

His lips pulled in a smug grin. Woody considered himself a quick learner and it was his turn to lead.

* * *

Jordan tossed aside her Patriots blanket and rolled her neck stretching the kinks out of her neck. It wasn't that long ago her office sofa was a perfectly acceptable alternative place to catch a few hours sleep. After all, the morgue was her home away from home. She was used falling asleep to the lullaby of pops and hums of equipment running and the bangs and bumps that were never quite as easily explainable. Lately, those same noises grated at her nerves. It was the same at her apartment. Most nights she found herself sleeping on the sofa. Her bed was lonely...and far too often...too crowded. 


	2. I Need You More Than Ever

**Okay kiddies….we started this story like….six months ago maybe? So at that point in time, JD was very much alive and kickin'.**

**So suspend reality and just go with the fact that the Aussie is breathing. I never did like him, but I surely didn't wish him dead.**

**Chapter Two**

**I Need You More Than Ever**

Matt Seeley sighed and kicked his feet up on his desk. The captain didn't like the detectives doing that, but what the hell? After last night and this morning, it was the least the department owed him…cut him a little slack.

He was afraid he was reaching burn out level. Seeley never thought it would happen to him. He had always prided himself that he could maintain a certain level of detachment with his cases…not to get so personally involved that he couldn't leave work at work when he shut the door to his and Hoyt's office at night.

But who was he kidding? The case he and Woody were on right now was eating them both alive. Child pornography. It got to the toughest cops. Any case involving children was hard, but to have one where kids were so obviously abused and exploited was the hardest of all. Even to "detached" cops like himself. And Hoyt, with his "white-picket-fence-and 2.5-kids" mentality was taking it even harder. Woody was the biggest boy scout he knew.

Coupled with just the sheer difficulty and raw emotions that this case was stirring up, was the fact that more often than not, Hoyt and he found themselves at the morgue at least once a day. Not a bad thing for Woody, with whatever he had going on with that hot ME Jordan Cavanaugh, but sheer torture for Matt. Because every time he was there, he ran into her.

Lily.

It hadn't been so bad in the past…they had maintained a level of friendship, maybe something even closer. Then all of a sudden, it was like every man in the Boston city limits was vying for the grief counselor's attention. Bug – who confessed his love for her in her office and then retracted it a day later. _Stupid, stupid, stupid man_, Matt thought, burying his face in his hands.

But worst of all was Brandau. ADA Jeffrey Brandau. He and Lily had been thrown together in a hostage situation and it seemed that ever since, Jeffrey had been chasing her skirt tail with as much aggression as his timid nature would allow.

And the timid ADA thought he had won. While Matt had been patiently waiting for Lily to make up her mind, assuming all the time that he would win, Brandau had slipped in and stole the woman out right.

But then Bug won her back.

To add insult to injury, Bug and Lily were currently living together….a fact that was now public knowledge, much to Matt's chagrin. He had taken more than his fair share of ribbing about it from the other detectives. Well, everybody except for Hoyt, who just shot him sympathetic glances. Woody knew first hand what it felt like to have the girl of your dreams cohabitating with someone else.

Matt had tried to put it behind him, and was successful in some ways. He was dating again…here and there, no one certain girl. Was he moving forward any? Maybe. Had he found the right woman for him? No. There was a part of him that would always love Lily…and an even larger part of him that wanted her relationship with Bug to fail. He wanted to be there when it happened…to be her soft landing spot. Woody may not have wanted to be the rebound guy, but Hoyt didn't know how to play that game. Matt did.

And he would use being the rebound guy to his advantage.

* * *

The day had been a double whammy for Jordan. The child pornography case was wearing on everyone involved. Her. Nigel. Bug. Woody. Even Matt Seeley. Cases involving children were the worst – the absolute worst. Whether it was because such innocence was so brutally violated, or the fact that it called up her surprisingly strong maternal instinct, Jordan wasn't sure. She just knew it was getting on her last nerve…she had lost sleep and weight over this one.

To top it all off, while she was waiting in line at Starbucks this morning, a familiar voice from the past echoed back to haunt her. "Fancy meeting you here, Cavanaugh."

JD. He was back. In Boston.

She had whirled around to greet him with a fake smile plastered on her face. "I could say the same to you. What are you doing back in Boston?"

"Finished in DC. They sent me back here."

Her mouth had opened to tell him it was nice to see him again, when a tall, willowy, leggy blonde sidled up beside the reporter and linked her arm through his. "Jordan, I'd like for you to meet Allison. Allison, this is Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh. She's a ME that I worked with on several articles I did…"

Allison had stuck out her perfectly manicured left hand for Jordan to shake. Jordan didn't miss the diamond solitaire that was on her ring finger. Jordan's mouth formed a speechless "O" of surprise.

And JD didn't miss it. "Allison is my fiancé."

Gulping to regain her composure, Jordan shook the woman's hand. "Nice to meet you, Allison. And congratulations. You've got a great guy, there."

Somehow Jordan had purchased her Venti Skinny Dolce Latte and got back to the office. She shut her door and leaned against it. JD was back and had moved on. More than moved on. He had forgotten what they had together. Jordan had been relegated to a spot in his history that he would eventually forget.

And she wasn't sure why that bothered her so much. She didn't love JD. She never did. At least not the way JD wanted her to love him, and not as much as he had loved her at one time. He had loved her enough to even overlook the night of passion that she and Woody had at the Lucy Carver Inn. Something Jordan was sure she could never do if the shoe had been on the other foot.

As the day wore on, Jordan felt her nerves being grated between the rough surface of the child pornography case and the rougher surface of JD and his fiancé. Finally when her nerves were frayed too much for her to try to knot back together, she picked up her cell phone and hit one on speed dial.

Woody had worked the day shift. That meant he would be free tonight. At least she hoped so. She needed him this evening more than she ever had before.

And he would be there for her. He always was. He may get angry at her leaving during the night, but his door was always open and his bed was always warm.


	3. Crossing the Line

**Chapter 3**

**Crossing the Line**

Woody answered his cell phone but not before a long sigh. It was Jordan, he knew that she was aware he'd worked a day shift and would be free that night.

"Hoy," he answered flippantly and pulled on his suit coat as he was heading out for a late lunch.

Jordan was going through things on her desk distractedly because that was always the best way to keep the conversation short, not get into any dangerous territory of conversing about anything deeper than a case or the weather.

"Hey, Woody, what's up? You sound like you're on the move, headed out to a case?" Jordan asked innocently and Woody looked up and down the hallway, deciding whether to answer truthfully.

"Uh..no, I'm actually on my way to lunch, I was out on a case all morning and most of the afternoon, so I though I'd grab some pizza fast," he said nodding to Seely who was on his way into their office with a stack of papers and a confused look on his face.

"Ooo..pizza? Mind if I join you? I'm done for the day," Jordan asked reaching for her purse and coat, knowing it wasn't in him to turn her down for a chance to be seen in public rather than hidden behind the walls of Woody's little apartment.

Woody put the phone to his shoulder and looked pleadingly at Seely. "Cover me for like an hour man, I'm just getting around to lunch and Jordan wants to meet me for pizza," he said with big eyes, knowing he had the sympathies of his office mate on his side.

Seely sighed and looked at the stack of folders in his hands, holding them up for Woody to see. "But there's….and these cases'll take a week with TWO of us going through.." he stopped at Woody's pleading look. He knew that look, he'd given it to Woody himself several times over the past year or two when an opportunity to meet up with Lily came about.

Woody knew the answer before Matt even said a word. "Thanks Seeley…" Woody started and Matt just nodded shooing him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, ya owe me one.." he started and shook his head watching Woody stride off down the hall on yet another obstacle course for Jordan's heart. "..or like, 12.." he sighed stalking into the office and tossing half the stack on Woody's desk.

Woody saw her sitting in their usual booth at the pizzeria already talking up the young bus boy whom had an obvious crush on her. He couldn't help but stop at the corner of the street, just out of her line of sight and watch her leading the boy on just enough to make him feel special.

His smile turned to a frown when he started to wonder if he WAS that kid to Jordan and just wasn't really aware of it. He shook the thought away, determined to make overanalyzing this….whatever it was….with Jordan for at least just the amount of time it took to eat half a small pizza.

"Hey," he smiled giving her an awkward hug and kiss on the cheek before sitting down across from her. "Chatting with your boyfriend I see? Should I be jealous?" Woody asked nodding towards the bus boy.

Jordan gave him an uncomfortable smile and a short laugh in return. It was hard to see where the boundaries of a joke could go when they really had no idea of the true boundaries this relationship they had.

"So…pizza.." Woody said returning her uncomfortable laugh. "You look a little…off, you doing okay?" Woody asked while they waited for their drinks and Jordan looked distractedly around the room, talking about nonsense and trying to fill the empty spaces between nonsense with casual banter.

"Me? Okay?" Jordan asked trying to sound casual and waved a hand over the table. "Yeah, just more hungry than I thought I guess, sorry." She said and then touched her forehead with a simple laugh.

Woody nodded. "No problem.." he said slowly and offered her what he hoped was a genuine smile. They ate their pizza, discussing their day's events and noticeably avoiding any talk of their plans for the night but something in Jordan's eyes told Woody that he'd be sharing his bed with her later that night.

They parted ways outside of the shop, with no little more than a casual promise to see each other around and a wave.

The rest of the afternoon Woody paid Seeley back for that time he'd taken to see Jordan but found his mind wandering off in the middle of nearly every case file he picked up and this didn't go unnoticed by the man sitting across the room from him.

Seeley stood suddenly from his desk somewhere around the sixth or seventh case file Woody had daydreamed his way through and walked over to pick up his notepad.

"What? What?" Woody asked snapping out of it and sitting up in his chair looking at Seeley.

With a smirk Matt gave the legal pad a once over before tossing it back into Woody's arms. "I was just making sure you weren't writing yours and Jordan's initials in little hearts all over the back, we DO have real work to do here ya know," he said going back over to his desk and sitting down with a thud.

Woody ignored his comments and glanced out the window before swiveling his chair around with a sigh. "You ever feel like you're the punch line of a joke and you're the only one who doesn't know it?" he asked with a frown.

Seeley sat back and regarded Woody for a long time. He was from a rich family who didn't see the value in an honest hard day's work.

"….I…MAY know what you're talking about, yeah, why? This…whatever…you're doing with Cavanaugh?" he asked and Woody nodded silently, still looking out the window.

"I mean…" Woody started and shook his head with a sigh. "It's not like it should be all that tough anymore," he shrugged. "Pollack is out of the picture, me and Jordan made up…kinda.." he said softly. "We're both doing good with work and we've got nothing to stop us really, so…so why can't we seem to just….let it go and be together? This casual shit is for the birds.." Woody mumbled flicking a piece of lint from his shirt.

Seeley felt compelled to lean over and check under Woody's desk to make sure his balls hadn't fallen off at some point during the past five minutes.

Woody caught his little move and sat up quickly. "Oh, okay NOW what asshole?" he asked, exasperated and tossed the file on top of his desk.

Matt leaned back putting his hands up defensively. "Hey hey, I was just doing the friendly thing and checking to see if your nuts were still attached…" he said shaking his head. "CASUAL sex with a gorgeous woman and you're twirling your pigtails around one finger and dreaming of being Mr. Jordan Cavanaugh…get a grip man, you got a good thing going on…" Seeley started with an authoritative nod. "So..so either you're bat shit insane or…or head over heels for that woman," he stated, making what he hoped would be his final statement in this tirade of sage advice.

Woody nodded, barely listening as he continued his hard stare out the window. When he realized Seeley was finished his speech he turned towards him again and frowned after catching the last part about insanity and love. "Aren't they pretty close to the same thing?" he asked.

Seeley at least had the good sense to think on it a moment before shrugging in defeat.

The late night knock on his door had become familiar as her honey sweet voice over the past half year and change.

Woody stared at the door for a long moment, contemplating when it would all finally end and the late night rendezvous would finally give way to holding hands in the park, dropping each other off at work in the morning, hell, he'd even take her staying for a bowl of Frosted Flakes and a quick shower over the covert affair they'd been locked into.

But while she'd finally conceded to spending the night, Jordan took that promise only as far as the first rays of light peeking into his little bedroom reached.

"The light's only at the foot of the bed…" he'd mumble one morning, pulling her closer and holding her tighter.

"No, look Jordan.." he'd weakly protest after the next tender encounter. "It's only at the dresser today, you can stay longer.." as he pulled her back down into the covers.

But still she went, every morning before the automatic coffee pot could fill to the 6 cup line, leaving him cold and annoyed, more at himself for having let her in again than at Jordan for coming to him.

He opened the door wordlessly and just as she had every night before Jordan offered him a gentle smile and touched him softly as she stepped in and shut the door behind her.

But unlike previous nights, Jordan did not drop her things in a trail headed for the bedroom. Instead, she hung up her coat, tossed her bag by the chair and opened her arms to Woody from where she sat on the couch.

Woody watched her wordlessly for a moment but he went to her. He always did.

"Hey.." he whispered lowering his lips to hers. Lovers lips met as friends hadn't earlier that day and the awkward hug at the pizza place was replaced by confident, tender caresses.

"Hey.." Jordan smiled and uncharacteristically of their previous encounters took the reins with a passionate force that surprised Woody. It wasn't just that she wanted him, she needed him.

Even as surprised as he was Woody knew that questions and commentary were off limits for this part of the night. Besides that he needed her just as badly. If not for his precarious position Woody would have laughed. In all the months they'd been engaged in this night time dance this was the first time they were completely on the same page.

Clothes were removed less frantically than previous times and the focus of the night seemed to be less on the act and more on the two people involved.

Gently, Jordan pushed Woody back onto the sofa and climbed on top of him, laying out so that their whole bodies were touching and she had access to his now bare chest and he could reach down to stroke his hands over her bare backside or run his fingers over the fabric of her thong if he wanted.

"Jordan…" he moaned softly between deep, wet kisses. "Bed.." he grunted when she slipped one smooth knee between both of his legs and gently began to rub it against his shaft through his boxer shorts.

Jordan's only answer was a quick nod and a tug of his wrist as she stood and pulled him with her to the bedroom.

They held each other then, making love, even though they both tried to pretend that it was nothing more than scratching a physical itch.

There were tender touches, soft but passionate kisses, and they moved in a dance they hadn't realized they'd been rehearsing for since the Lucy Carver Inn. And then they did it. They crossed the line they'd had drawn in the sand and there was no way either of them could take the words back once they tumbled softly from their lips.

"I love you." Woody breathed as he collapsed on top of her. Jordan was quick to follow in both respects and arched into him with a long sigh, maybe from the release of her orgasm but maybe also a little from the release of the words she'd been waiting to tell him for so long.

"I love you." She whispered back and held him close in her arms as they caught their breath.


	4. Love Has No Guarantees

**Chapter Four**

**Love Has No Guarantees**

Jordan held her breath. The whispered words hung in the room like a shout, flooding the sudden silence with an air of conflicting emotions. Jordan felt each and every one of those emotions wash over her at once. Somewhere in her logical, rational mind, a part of her was screaming at her to make some witty comment and find an excuse to leave. Saying the words out loud made it all too real for her comfort. She was only going to end up hurting him. But selfishly, the rest of her had never felt more safe and secure. For one tiny moment she tried to believe that love was enough.

In the dim light, Woody watched the play of emotions on her face. "Jordan..." his voice was strained, as raw and elemental as the rain that had started pelting the window still outside the room.

Anything else he had to say it was cut off when Jordan's limbs tightened around him.

* * *

It was still raining when Woody's internal clock woke him up. He could hear her moving around the room. He opened one eye to see a delightfully naked Jordan down on all fours on his bedroom floor.

"I must be dreaming," Woody murmurs in a sleepy Scottish brogue.

Jordan smiled recognizing the James Bond quote. "You can turn off the charm," she replied in character. "I'm immune."

Woody sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Not that I'm not enjoying the view...but what are you doing down there?"

Jordan threw the edge of the bedspread back down the on the floor and stood up on her knees. With her hands on her hips she began to search the bedding in earnest. Causing Woody to hold onto the edge of the sheet for dear life.

"I'm looking for my underwear. I swear this place is like a black hole. I've lost at least a half a dozen pair in here..."

Woody felt a split second of panic. Early in his efforts to get Jordan to stay longer than a few hours he started taking her underclothes and hiding them in the bottom drawer of his dresser. He knew it was childish and in the end it was also very ineffective. She'd just leave without them and after awhile she just stopped wearing underwear over there all together.

Woody cringed and his face must have shown it. Jordan held out her hand and Woody reached under his pillow and pulled out her pale pink thong.

"Pervert," she smirked.

He held the scrap of elastic just out of her reach when she tried to take it. "Come back to bed Jordan. It's early yet...and it's still raining. Come on..."

His big blue puppy dog eyes were almost too tempting. She felt herself melting and set down on the edge of the bed. "I really have to go. I've got a lot of work to do today."

"So do I," he said, adding a smile he hoped would make her melt further. "One more hour and I'll make breakfast. Stay. Please."

She kept her eyes focused off his face. It was easier that way. It would be so easy to climb back in that warm bed and accept the simple pleasure Woody offered. They could live happily ever after with meatloaf Thursday nights and fighting over the bedcovers. Sometimes, in those quiet moments while he was sleeping, Jordan could let herself go there. Fantasies are lovely, but this is daylight. She had her own life. She simply wasn't going to tumble into something more substantial only to make the same mistakes she always had. And to tell the truth she couldn't put Woody's heart up for target practice a second time. God help her, she truly loved him too much for that.

She caught him off guard and snapped the panties out of his hand. Before she could second guess herself she quickly stepped into them and gave him a side long glance. "Woody," she sighed. "You know I'm not any good at all this...part. We had a good time last night...can't we just leave it like that...?"

His smile winked out like an old Christmas bulb. "Jordan. Wait, I thought..." his voice was jumping octaves with each word. He inhaled quickly trying to stem off his temper before it set in and failed miserably. "I thought we were finally moving on to the same page here. Last night you told me you loved me and now it's too much for you to stick around for some fucking pancakes!"

For Jordan there were so many things she could say, but none of them where what Woody wanted to hear. "I'm sorry."

"...But..." he added with more then a touch of sarcasm.

Jordan threw up her hands and left the room zeroing in on the rest of her clothes scattered around the living room. "Woody, you know how hard it is for me to admit me feelings. Please don't throw them back in my face."

Woody stabbed his legs into a pair of shorts and stormed out after her. "I'm not asking you to move in, Jordan. I'm just asking for a little more here." He kept his distance while she pulled her clothes on. "You have to admit what we're doing here, you and me" he argued pointing his finger between them. "...isn't a very healthy relationship."

She wanted to scream with frustration. She felt like crawling out of her skin. She was helpless to explain feelings and powerless to stop them. How could she explain to Woody what she didn't understand herself?

"Woody, I do love you but don't you realize I'm giving you all I can. What we have is good." Her voice broke and Woody felt it deep in his chest. "You were the one who said there aren't any guarantees in love. If we keep this...uncomplicated...it'll be easier when it's over."

_Uncomplicated! _The last time Woody could remember their relationship being uncomplicated was before they pulled the Bill Clinton mask off the body in that bank all those years ago and found Hillary. It just got more tangled from that point on.

"How are you so sure it's going to end?" he pleaded breathlessly.

Grabbing her bag she said, "...Because it always does."

She sloppily brushed away the tears that had started to fall and quickly cupped her hand around the nap of Woody's neck, pressing her soft lips against his rigid ones. "I need to go," she whispered.

Her fingers lingered to brush across the twitch in his jaw. He reached up to grab them. "It doesn't have to."

She gave him a watery smile. "But you can't guarantee that."

* * *

While Woody and Jordan were redrawing their lines in the sand, Matt was regretting his own big breakfast.

Alone, in front of the RV equipment that had taken up semi-permanent residence in the cubby-hole office he and Hoyt were sharing while working on this case, Seely stumbled upon the evidence they both hoped...and feared...they'd find.

There, among the thousand plus hours of kiddie porn that had been confiscated from their main suspect's residence, was the last terrifying minutes of the life of a young boy he watched autopsied that sparked the investigation.

In bright red ink, Matt antedated the date and time code from the VHS. As almost an after thought, he added the words, '_Got you dickhead'. _Walcott probably would have a cow that he made a personal, highly prejudicial, note on an official police report but she could kiss his ass. He didn't see her having to stomach watching hour after hour of filth looking for the littlest clue.

It was only seven o'clock in the morning and he already had a tension headache. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes so hard that he could see stars. Unfortunately it didn't take away the pictures. That was how Lily found him.

File after file. It seemed like there's wasn't any end to them when in all actuality there was only probably a dozen. A dozen was far too many as far as Lily was concerned. Each and every one was labeled with the name of a child whose life had been ruined by the animal Matt and the others were looking for. She could only imagine that how many more children out there that were not brave enough to come forward.

It ate away at her. She offered to help. Woody had asked her to follow up with one case particularly. She made some phone calls and a few notes. She doubted she found anything that would help them but she felt like she was doing something positive.

"Are you alright," she asked softly from the doorway.

"Lily," Matt exclaimed sitting up a little straighter. "What are you doing here?"

She placed the file on the corner of his desk and pulled Woody's chair over. "I was on my way to the morgue and wanted to drop this off."

Matt thumbed through the file and made note of Lily's busywork. It wasn't anything they already didn't assume. "Thanks," he mumbled. He reached for his coffee cup as an absentminded way to dismiss her.

He knew the second Lily sat down she wanted to talk. She'd spout off some psychobabble-bullshit about putting his feelings and his work in perspective. It was one of things he hated about her. Lily was the type woman that assumed that very way he breathed had some significance to his inner sense of self. Which of course was a pile of bull. Maybe, at one time, he could have learned to tolerate it.

"Thank you. I don't mind if I do" Lily said straightening the lines of her skirt to make herself more comfortable. "Cream please."

Matt had no other choice but to make her a cup of coffee. He hoped Hoyt wouldn't mind that he used his cup.

"I worry about you."

And so it begins. "I'm flattered," Matt snorted.

Lily pushed the untouched coffee away. "I thought we were friends, Matt. Friends worry about each other."

"Yeah, well, I can worry about myself Lily. I'm sure your _friend_ Bug has enough problems to keep you very busy."

"Bug has nothing to do with our friendship."

Matt had to smile. The sad part was Lily truly saw their so-called friendship that way. Maybe if had tried harder. Maybe if she wasn't so damn granola to his silver spoon. Maybe if Bug wasn't so...Lily. "You've ever heard the expression 'love is blind'?"

For Lily the question came out of the blue. She gave him a confused smile and said, "Yes, of course."

"Do you believe it?"

Lily's smiled softly. "I guess so. Sure. Why?"

"Because it's bullshit. Infatuation now that is dazzling, sure, at least for the short term. But love clears a person's view. You see, better, sharper, clearer because you feel more than you did before. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the morning briefing."


	5. Just Click Your Heels Together

**Chapter Five**

**Just Click Your Heels Together**

Woody left his studio apartment an hour after Jordan's departure, still just as angry, still just as frustrated, and still just as confused as he was when he watched her search for her thong. _There are no guarantees in love…_ Yeah, he did remember saying those words to Jordan … over three years ago when they were still teeter-tottering around their feelings. _As if we still aren't_…he thought.

Maybe they still were, but the upward and downward swings were becoming less and less. There had been an admittance of sorts. He loved her. She loved him. And even if they weren't on the same page right now, at the very least they were in the same chapter.

Sort of.

The truth was Woody was ready to take the book back to the library, pay his overdue fee, and go buy a cheap men's magazine at the adult store around the corner…for all this relationship was becoming.

He never had a clue that _love_ could mean two different things to the two people that were sharing the same emotion.

For Jordan, it seemed the emotion included physical affection…kissing, making out, sex…all the tangible aspects of love without the emotional intimacy.

Call him a boy-scout-Dudley-Dorighter at heart, but for Woody the physical followed the emotional. Let me in your heart and mind and then in your body.

He knew he had walked ass-backwards into this relationship. He knew it. He had gone in with his eyes wide open and other parts of his body standing at attention. But he had hoped that, for Jordan, the emotional would follow the physical.

Not a chance.

Her heart was still as guarded as ever. And he knew it was partly his fault. Woody didn't think she had ever really recovered from his rejection of her after he was shot. He had said he was sorry a thousand times and had eaten his words every way he could, but they had been said and he realized that her heart bore one more scar because of his hard-hearted, careless, selfish comments. And he was sure that for that reason alone, the lady had issues about emotional intimacy with him.

But still…actions should speak louder than words. He had always been there for her. He had saved her sweet ass more times than he could count. And if she would let him, he would show her that intimacy was more than him knowing every inch of every lush curve of her naked body.

That however, was not likely to happen. At least not anytime soon. Still angry and still frustrated because he wasn't sure who to direct his anger at, he slammed the door to his apartment as he left for work. It was going to be a long day and he could already feel a tension headache throbbing between his temples.

* * *

_Have you ever had the dumb luck to find someone that loves you…loves you for you… unconditionally. They don't have to be in your life…they want to be._

The remnants of that old conversation Jordan had with Dr. Lisa so many years ago kept running around her mind today for some reason. _Dumb luck_…She wouldn't call her relationship with Woody dumb luck…but it was definitely unconditional. Woody always seemed to be ready to be with her at whatever level she was willing to give him. Now…not now…right now…sex, no sex…kiss me quick…kiss me slow and wet and long. Whatever she wanted, he was willing to give.

But what he seemed to want, she couldn't give…and that bothered her. A white-picket fence. Four bedrooms, two-and-half-baths-two-story-Cape-Cod-in-the-suburbs-life with a swing set in the back and 2.5 kids and a Labrador retriever, complete with mini-van. Jordan shuddered. It wasn't in her.

She couldn't see herself settling down. Not that she couldn't see herself attached to Woody for the long term…but to be someone's _wife_? She wasn't sure that was in her psyche or her vocabulary.

Besides, that would complicate things more than they needed to be. Relationships end. They all do. Everyone Jordan had experienced had come to a dead end…sometimes literally … even the one with her father. She was incapable of any type of long-term relationship.

So why put Woody's heart up for target practice with her track record? She loved him. She knew that much. Loved him probably more than anyone else she ever had in her life. She loved him enough to keep the relationship where it was at so when it was over, Woody would feel free to go his way and find his suburban desperate housewife and start a family. Without the noose of a Cavanaugh around his neck.

_But how will you feel when it's over_? That was a question she always brushed away quickly. She guessed it depended on how the relationship ended. If they quarreled and he kept whining for a commitment, Jordan had no doubt that one day, she would turn and gladly walk away.

However, if he employed those puppy-dog eyes like he did this morning, it would make telling him "no" harder, if not impossible. And that might lead her into a position where she really did hurt him down the road. Jordan had the feeling that a divorce might completely emotionally cripple the detective.

She sighed and turned back to the pile of paperwork on her desk…the last thing she had to do before leaving for the day. Nervously, she chewed the end of her pen. End of the day. Where would she sleep tonight? Her place? His place?

* * *

"Jesus…Kansas?" Woody nearly bellowed as Seely. "Are you fucking sure?"

Seely nodded. "If you look at the demographics, it makes sense. Kansas has more adult…. 'toy stores' than almost another state in the continental US."

"Dear God…Toto, we're not in Oz, are we?"

Seely chuckled at Woody's obtuse reference to _The Wizard of Oz_. "No, Dorothy and you ain't wearing the ruby slippers, so we can't click our heels together three times and be there. We have a flight out tomorrow at noon."

Woody sighed. On one hand, he wanted to clap Matt on the back and tell him what a great job he had done on this child pornography case. Woody may not have found the perfect partner in Seely, but the men were damn close in their passion for their jobs as cops and Matt hated child porn just as much as Woody did. Where Woody didn't try to hide his emotions, but kept them on his sleeve, Matt would wear his under a thick layer of seemingly cool indifference. Woody was only now understanding just how long and how hard Seely would work to bring justice to those who needed it.

"So we'll be doing surveillance work out there?" Woody asked, studying the flight itinerary in front of him.

"That's the plan. We'll keep the perp under watch until he makes a move…a move that may bring young boys back here to Boston. If we think that's happening, we call in the Kansas police and take him in."

Woody sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The older he got the less patience he had for surveillance work. "How long is Walcott going to keep us out there?" he finally asked.

"Until the job's done."

"Shit…"

Seely shrugged. "And before you ask, no, Jordan can't come."

"I wasn't going to…"

"Sure you weren't," Matt said, raising a knowing eyebrow. "Sure. I rrreeeaaalllly believe that. Yeah. Nope, Hoyt, you're just going to have to learn to live without her for a few weeks."

* * *

Jordan sighed as she got home from work, wearily leaning against the back of her red apartment door. It had been the day from hell. The child pornography case was about to kill her and everyone else in the ME's office as well as the Boston PD. "I'll never understand the people that actually _get into _that," she muttered to herself.

Kids. Porn. The two words should never be uttered in the same sentence at any time, as far as she was concerned. The day had taken its toll on her… and the night seemed to stretch out endlessly before her.

She was lonely. Not that she'd ever admit it, but she was. She needed him again tonight. Even if all they did was cuddle, tonight she _needed _him. Not just sexually, but his touch…his closeness. Needed him in a way that left her shaking.

Jordan had never felt this way in her adult life…quaking over the prospect of being alone. She had been left alone before, of course…but this was the first time she _felt_ alone.

So with that, the decision was made about where she would spend tonight.

With Woody. All night. She wouldn't leave him as the early morning rays of light crept into his bedroom and painted the walls a buttery yellow. Tonight she would stay. He wouldn't have to ask.

And she'd make it special. She swung by her apartment, stripped, pulled out some less-is-more red lingerie from the back of her closet, donned it, and pulled her coat around it. Then she threw some things for tomorrow in a bag and hightailed it back to his studio apartment.

She knocked. Loudly. Twice. Swearing at herself, she finally pulled a small, metal nail file from her purse and set about one of her more nefarious talents – picking locks.

Once she was in, she surveyed the landscape of the apartment…in was nearly seven now…surely he would be home soon. And there was only one place she wanted to wait for him. Determinedly stripping off the coat, she headed for the bedroom. She'd be keeping his bed warm for him when he got home,


	6. I’m Going to Miss You

**Chapter 6**

**I'm Going to Miss You**

Woody looked at his watch with tired eyes for the third time within the hour. Again it told him it was after two. Long after two.

"Okay, well that about covers it as far as your itinerary, you have any questions? Seeley? Hoyt?" The captain asked.

Woody snapped out of his daydream for a moment and rubbed his eyes as he sat up straight. "Y..yes sir, I mean, no sir, no questions." He said faking a smile, but he was really thinking _'when the hell can I get out of here and go home?'_

A quick look to his right told him Seeley was thinking the same thing.

The captain looked between both men for a moment and nodded. "Okay, well then go home, pack, get some rest and I want a phone call once you get settled in Kansas." He said with a short nod.

"Thank you, Captain," both men said standing as their superior rose and left the room.

Woody let out a long sigh and checked his watch again, wondering if Jordan would be annoyed if he called her to come over or he stopped over at her place for the rest of the night. Matt didn't miss the long look at his watch or the question in his eyes.

"Careful dude, I don't know how she is after lack of sleep but on a good day I know that woman is a loose cannon. You really think she'll be okay with you dropping in for a little middle of the night lovin'?" Seeley whispered as they pulled their things together to leave.

Woody just stared at him. "Anyone ever tell you to mind your own business Seeley?" he asked sarcastically. Matt just shrugged.

"A time or two…just don't cry to me on the plane tomorrow when you're dragging ass," he said patting Woody on the back on his way out the door.

Woody grabbed his keys and turned off his computer with a stretch. He opened his cell on his way out the door and without hesitating hit the speed dial for Jordan's apartment number.

On the sixth ring the machine picked up and he sighed. Being in the awkward relationship place they were right now left him not knowing whether to call around, find her and give her hell for not telling him where she was or just accept that maybe she had other plans or had to work late and just hadn't told him. He opted for slightly cryptic phone message to pique her interest and call him back sooner than later. "H…hey, Jordan it's Woody, if you're there pick up……okay, well, I guess you aren't there, or you're sleeping, but umm.." he was going to tell her about the flight tomorrow and the weeks he'd be spending in Kansas without her and how he wished he didn't have to. But he wanted to tell her in person. "If you get this before tomorrow at 11, call me okay?" he said softly. "I'll talk to you later." He said before hanging up.

Of course she wasn't answering. She wasn't supposed to be at his every beck and call. She had her own life and job outside of….whatever it was that they had together. With a resigned sigh Woody headed home to his apartment building and fingered his apartment key and the spare as he rode the elevator to his apartment.

His hands stopped and his head lifted. That was it. His excuse to go see her in the morning would be dropping off his spare key to her in case she needed to get into his place for anything or just to check in on it and feed his plants.

Happy with the master plan he'd hatched between floors one and three, Woody smiled and strode in his front door, dropping his coat and his gun on his way to the bedroom.

He jumped a little when he sensed someone in his room and even more when he realized they were in his bed. He reached over to turn the bedside light on and let out a soft sigh when he saw Jordan's sleeping face amidst the blankets on his bed. He sighed softly for a different reason when he sat down beside her and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I love you," he whispered softly and watched her a moment longer. When he stood from the bed Woody shook his head and removed the second key from his keychain and placed it on the dresser. He'd give it to Jordan in the morning. It was a hell of a lot easier than breaking into his place at any hour of the night and less likely to put Jordan in a jail cell overnight if she ever did it again.

He peeled off his clothes, not even having the energy to put them in the hamper and climbed into bed with her clad only in his boxers from the day.

'Well, well...' he thought with a smile as he sided up to Jordan and sensed the femininely familiar rubbing of something silk and lace against his bare side. He slowly lifted the covers and had to swallow a moan when he saw that Jordan was wearing sexy red lingerie and knew it was all for him.

* * *

He watched her for a moment and thought of the first time she had worn that for him. It was a warm night in the summer. The window unit in his fourth floor living room only did so much to keep him cool and he was tossing and turning in bed, frustrated and thinking about how much more bearable this would be if it was Jordan he was sweating over and not the lack of crisp, breathable air in his little apartment.

It was one of the few nights his wish actually came true and she had stopped in after working a night shift, knocking softly on his door at a quarter till seven. When he opened the door and looked down at her with tired eyes she just gave him a sexy little smirk and pushed him back onto the couch and shut the door behind her. The hot night had given way to a cool, breezy morning but they both still managed to work up a sweat as good as that one he'd experienced in the heat of the night before.

* * *

With a little kiss to the corner of her mouth and a promise to enjoy that lingerie in the morning, Woody wrapped Jordan in his arms and drifted off into a deep, much needed sleep.

It wasn't until the kids in the neighborhood could be heard out on the streets getting a nine a.m. start out the door to play the next morning that Jordan's eyes peeked open and she turned over in Woody's large smooth arms. She reached out a tentative hand to touch his face and realized with a little pang of fear that even without having had sex the night before she was still just as satisfied as every time they had. Every time. It was with this foreign feeling that Jordan suddenly realized it was the first time she had spend the night with Woody and not had sex with him. She remembered a few tender kisses and soft touches throughout the night but they had gone no further.

_What did this mean? When had this happened? When did a seemingly casual love affair turned into spending the night just to sleep beside the one you…_

"Mmmorning stranger…" Woody's deep, morning voice called out softly as Jordan was pulled out of her panic attack for the moment.

"Morning yourself…you weren't here last night.." She said more meekly than she'd intended. Woody misinterpreted her being upset over last night's plans being ruined for something having happened. He was suddenly sitting up beside her.

"Why? What happened? Did something happen?" he asked looking her square in the eyes and trying to find the answer there.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, let alone any other person on the earth, Jordan liked how protective Woody was of her. It made her feel safe and loved and like she mattered more than she'd ever thought she could to anyone. She offered him a small smile and stroked his cheek lovingly with the back of one hand.

"No no, nothing like that, I just….I guess missed you is the word I'm looking for." She said with a playful grin.

Woody sighed. What she just said was going to make what he had to tell her at some point in the morning just that much more difficult. Especially when she said it sitting beside him in bed in a nightie that covered little more than the essentials. He groaned softly thinking of the amount of time he was going to have to go without her tender touches in the night, the soft kisses she woke him with and the safety he felt spending the night in her arms.

"Oh..well…okay." he said with a casual nod and leaned over to kiss her softly. "I see you had no trouble breaking and entering your way in though.." he said trying to be light. "I don't want my neighbor's calling the cops on you..I don't have enough money in my bank account to cover your bail every time and this just seems a little more cost efficient." he said reaching for the key he'd placed on the night stand.

Jordan raised a hand before he could even turn around. "Oh..no no no…that's okay.." She said quickly, trying to be casual when her brain was flashing lights and sirens to get out of there as quickly as possible. "You really don't have to, I just…." She stammered and covered her eyes with a nervous chuckle. "I was dressed kinda ONLY in this when I came here last night..well besides my coat..and I just didn't want to have to go back out like that and I just…." She stopped and sighed. "It's okay, you don't have to give me a key.." she said touching his arm.

Woody looked hat her baffled. "Jordan…I don't…I'm not…I don't feel like I HAVE to do anything, I want you to have this…" Was he really going to do this now? Hit her with this news of him leaving for a little when she was already so vulnerable and her emotions exposed.

"Why? What's going on?" Jordan asked when she noticed his face falling little by little.

Woody turned away from her and ran a hand through his hair irritated. "Yeah see, that's the thing…I was hoping maybe you could check in on my place from time to time while I'm out of town.." he said quietly and tried to sound casual in his delivery.

But this was Jordan he was with. Jordan who knew him better than he knew himself. "Where are you going?" she asked so meekly that he thought he literally heard his heart breaking in half.

"Kansas…for several weeks", he finally blurted out and turned to face her in bed. "Maybe a few months and I just wanted you to be able to check in on my place, get the mail every few days…water the plants that sort of thing.." Woody tried to explain in the methodical manner police work had trained him to follow when explaining bad news to someone who didn't want to hear it.

"You don't have to go easy on me Farm boy…I'm a big girl I can handle you not being around," Jordan said trying with little success to be as unaffected as Woody seemed to be.

"Well, ya know it should only be for a few weeks…we've got our suspect cornered in Kansas. It's just a waiting game now to keep him under surveillance and wait for him to make one wrong move, drive too slow past a bust stop of elementary school and me and Seeley'll be on him like a badger on curry," he said turning to her and folding his legs under his butt.

"A…badger on…" Jordan started confused and Woody just rolled his eyes.

"It's a Wisconsin thing.." he mumbled and looked at his hands as he nervously picked at a cuticle.

There was a painful half minute or so before either of them said anything and when they did it was at the same time and with the same sentiment.

"I'm going to miss you."

They both laughed softly and squirmed, not sure what to do or think or say and so they said nothing at all.

Woody was the first to raise his eyes to Jordan's face, watching the indecision, the confusion, and finally the realization of impending loneliness playing out across her soft features. His heart and stomach ached at the thought of being without her presence in his life for so long a period of time that it made him a different kind of nauseous to finally put a name to that pounding in his chest and his ears. It wasn't that he didn't want to be without her, it was that he couldn't be without her.

Like air, food, water or shelter Woody needed her love like he needed the next breath of air to fill his lungs. She finally scooted over towards him a little and laid her head against his chest, one arm coming to rest around his waist in a tender hug. When she tightened her arm around him, Woody closed his eyes. On second thought he could do without shelter or food. Give him this woman's love every day of his life and he'd live long into his golden years.

With a swift little motion Woody was on his back, wrapping an arm around one of her long, silky legs as he guided her to lay on top of him and her lips were on his hungrily with the passion of a woman knowing it would be a long time before she could again be this close to the man she loved.

"Woody…"

"Jordan…"

Their soft whispers stirred the hair on each other's necks like the gentle breeze from outside was stirring the drapes in front of his bedroom window.

"When do you have to be at the airport?" Jordan asked between a moan and a sigh.

"Noon.." Woody hissed back as her stealth hands slipped below the waist of his boxers.

"Then we better make the next two and a half hours count.." she said squeezing him gently and giving him a sexy little smirk to hide the sadness she was feeling.

And until right up to 11:30 when Woody said he absolutely had to leave or he'd miss his flight they did make that time count.

Jordan walked him to the door as she wrapped his bathrobe around her thin frame more tightly and hoped he didn't see her rub her cheek into the collar that held his smell.

"I'll call when I get there.." he promised while she fixed his still damp hair in the doorway.

"I know you will…and I'll lock up here before I go…" she said with a sigh and looked around the room. "And I promise I'll try to keep your plants alive until you come back though you shouldn't be surprised if they're deep sixed by then. I have a knack for killing defenseless plants.." Jordan tried to joke with a crooked smile.

Even though he knew he was going to chance missing his flight Woody had to stop and pull her into his arms for a long, passionate kiss.

"I'll try to call a few times a week…" he whispered and felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise because he felt more like a husband leaving on a business trip than a best friend who you sleep with.

"Call when you can, I know you'll be busy.." Jordan said back and couldn't look into his eyes because she knew she'd cry if she did.

Woody pressed his cheek to her forehead one last time and with a soothing rub of her back whispered an "I love you" which she immediately returned.

Jordan's arms came up around his waist and she hoped the cologne she'd helped him splash on a short time ago rubbed into the robe more.

"Be safe," Jordan said biting her bottom lip as he stepped out of her arms leaving her feeling as cold as his bed would remain for a while.

"Always am.." Woody said with a quick grin and a wink as he hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and got on the elevator with one last little wave.


	7. Can I Call You 'Mo?

**Chapter 7**

**Can I Call You 'Mo?**

Those phone calls never came. Jordan didn't know whether to be annoyed or relieved. Because she said she would, Jordan picked up his mail, watered his plants, and fed his goldfish...Elmo.

Woody once told her that this was the fifth incarnation of Elmo. The first Elmo came shortly after his two weeks on the DL that ended up with him flying to LA to hunt down a killer. That case he was coming off an injury and was totally on his own. This time he was healthy and had Seely watching his back. Her fingers still itched to buy an E ticket and have Nigel track his lojack.

At first, she debated on taking Elmo into work, figuring he'd have a better chance of survival surrounded by doctors and scientists. In the end she was glad she didn't. Elmo proved to be a great listener. As days stretched together, the conversations become longer and more meaningful. Jordan found herself looking forward to the few minutes she spent with him everyday.

As had become her habit, Jordan let herself into Woody's apartment and asked Elmo if Woody called. It was an exercise in futility. Elmo just groused behind the glass looking for his fish flakes. Woody had forwarded all his calls to his cell. It wasn't like he had anybody around to take any important messages.

Jordan set the mail down on the counter next to Elmo's bowl along with a box of leftover kung-po chicken from lunch.

"It looks like it's just you and me again tonight," she said sprinkling his dinner in the bowl. "I like you Mo. I can call you _Mo _can't I? After all, we've been sharing our deepest, darkest secrets every day..."

Elmo dived for his flakes showing more enthusiasm than Jordan felt days. Jordan took at as an affirmative.

"Good," she said carrying the bowl from its usual spot on the kitchen counter to her preferred site on top of Woody's dresser.

Jordan started dragging the bowl around with her on her second day of apartment watching. Each evening she found herself staying a few minutes later. At first she told Elmo she was just doing Woody a favor by slaying a few on the dust bunnies that had collected under his furniture, confessing to Elmo that Woody's nasty habit of cleaning only from nose to knee level drove her up a wall.

Before she knew it, Jordan was staying until one or two o'clock in the morning going through the motions of running a dust rag around and telling Elmo about everything from being a closet Bruins fan to falling in and out of love with JD. It was easier to talk to a fish than go home to her own empty apartment, its cold bed and empty answering machine. So easy, in fact, she wondered if she should be either paying him by the hour or at least starting each conversation by saying 'forgive me Father, for I have sinned...'

After the apartment had been cleaned from top to bottom and inside and outside, Jordan had to get more creative with her excuses for staying. Tonight, she told everyone at work she was spending her evenings with this new guy she met in Woody's building. He was a nice, laidback guy. A great conversationalist, even if he drank a little too much. It wasn't too far from the truth. Jordan made a mental note to clean Elmo's bowl before she left.

She kicked her shoes off and curled up on the bed with her box of cold take out. She didn't want to dwell on why she was so comfortable in that particular spot. At least not right now...even though the answer was right on the tip of her tongue. To say it would give it life, and to give it life would be admitting she needed him. Needing him would mean opening herself up to a broken heart when her heart had been shattered so many times already she doubted there'd be enough pieces left to put it back together again.

Elmo had finished eating and was just drifting around his plastic plant. Jordan rambled on for few minutes about her day and asked Elmo for his pick for Sunday's games.

Finally she cast a jaundice eye to the bowl and asked the same question she had every day since Woody and Matt left...

Why hadn't he called?

"No news is good news...at least in the department. If anything bad happened I would have heard," she said rolling over on her side to face the dresser. "He's busy. But you'd think he'd at least make sure I haven't flushed you yet."

Elmo grazed the pebbles on the bottom of his bowl.

"I wish I could be as nonchalant as you are. Your life is on the line here. I can't even keep a plant alive...he knows that."

_He loves me. He trusts me. _

"Trust?" she snorted. "Love has nothing to do with trust...right?"

Elmo relieved himself.

"You're right. Love means picking up the damn phone."

* * *

Woody hung up the phone after the fifth ring. He didn't want to talk to Jordan's machine. He wanted to talk to her.

From the second they landed in Topeka, Woody and Matt were in over their heads. What started out as a simple case of picking up a local porn distributor, snowballed into something bigger and more twisted.

Their investigation had moved from the town of Salina. More to the fact, the crossroads of I-135 and I-70. For first two weeks they followed the lead of their insider. Day in and day out they watched 18 wheelers come and go...any one of them could be part of the distribution. The location made sense...two big trucking highways offering easy access to the entire nation.

The morning of the twelfth day they hit pay dirt. They had their man. A single father from Concord. He claimed he was only delivery man. He was only doing it to make ends meet. His ex-wife was bleeding him dry. He was a little worse for wear when Matt and Woody turned him over to the locals. Matt swore on a stack of Bibles that the suspect simply tripped getting out of the vehicle...and Matt's knuckles were inadvertently scraped up by helping the poor man off the concrete. Woody just said he was in the rest room and didn't see a thing. He blamed Seely's fixation with the truck stop's taco surprise.

While the suspect was having his clumsy moment he mentioned a name. Not the name of a potential suspect in the case, but that of a fifteen yea- old boy he had just delivered to a house in Wichita. Matt neglected to give the information to the Kansas State Police...or the FBI for that matter. For Seely, the case was getting more and more personal. By the end of the day, they were in a motel one block away from the house.

'This is the ring leader. I can just feel it Hoyt...' Matt had justified. He didn't need to convince Woody...but Walcott was another story. She gave them until the extradition paperwork could be filed on their initial suspect. Renee said she could stretch it for three days...but not a second longer. If they couldn't find anything concrete by then they had to come back to Boston and turn everything over to the feds.

For the first day, they split up looking for any information they could about the house and its habitants. While Woody took the logical route and canvassed the neighbors and local businesses, Matt went to the local school yard and ultimately a neighborhood daycare. That was where he found him lurking in the shadows. He was more than willing to tell them what he knew about the house...after a little gentle prodding. This time Matt was the one that had to take a leak. What they heard was enough to make Woody sick...and enough for Matt to drop dime on this pervert after getting a few names out of him.

By da tywo, Matt was standing on the desk of the Special Agent in Charge of the Wichita FBI field office. They gave him a song and dance about manpower and hearsay. The local police were willing to listen...after Matt threatened to go to the local TV station. Woody just smiled at them and said he was the good cop.

What they found in the house would stay with Woody for a very long time. The house itself was seeming harmless looking. Something out of a Brady's Bunch set...only dingier...like the walls themselves reflected the cancer of what was going on with in them. They found three bedrooms and an array of child sized clothing, a newsprint quality press in the basement and a single ledger book stuffed in a drawer in the kitchen. It looked like another budget book you'd find in any other household...only this one didn't list utility bills and grocery tabs. There were names, column after column. Names and ages...and sale price. They were not only looking at a child pornography ring. They stumbled on something more depraved.

The house was empty. They hadn't been gone long...and when they did move it was quick. They missed them by minutes. After two days it was obvious whoever was behind all this was gone. There was nothing left for Woody and Matt to do but turn everything over to the feds and the local police...and go home.

The next available flight wasn't until morning. They'd spent one more night at the motel. Neither of said anything about the missing boy as they mutually decided on a brewed malt dinner instead of taco surprise.

Woody needed to talk to her. He needed to disappear inside the reassurance of her voice and remember why what he did was worth it...even when the bad guy gets away...

"She's still not home," Matt said as he mindlessly flipped the channels on the small TV. The last few weeks had taken their toll on the cocky young detective. Woody didn't need to look in the mirror to see he looked the same.

"Nope," he said tossing the phone on the mattress next to him and taking a deep drag off the brown bottle in his left hand.

"Have you tried her cell?"

Woody shook his head mumbling something about not wanting to upset Jordan while she was working. He didn't add that he couldn't be sure she was working...or was alone. He didn't want to deal with the directionless nature of their relationship. What he didn't realize was that Seeley saw right through him.

"Call her man," Matt said handing Woody a fresh beer. "I know I've done my share of teasing you about Cavanaugh. You have to admit you're too damn easy when it comes to her," he added with a morose chuckle. "I'm not joking now. Call her."

Woody shrugged. "It's late in Boston."

From across the room, Matt pointed at the clock with the neck of his bottle. "Just make sure it doesn't get too late," he said with a slight slur. "I don't know how it's possible that someone as intelligent and beautiful as Jordan Cavanaugh has anything to do with a schmuck like you..."

"Are you thinking about asking her out?" Woody teased.

"Oh hell no." Matt was quick to say. "I don't know what YOU see in her," he added with a visible shiver.

"So you're coming on to me," Woody smiled, thumbing the label on his beer.

"Christ Hoyt! You're a sick man," Matt said flopping down on his own bed. "What I'm trying to say is that you need to step up to the plate..."

"Jordan once told me baseball analogies don't do it for her..."

"She sure as hell not with you for your sense of humor," Matt said tossing his empty bottle in the trash was a resounding rattle at it clanged against the battalion of solders that fell before it. "She's with you because she wants to be. You are a very lucky man Hoyt..."

"Now I know you're hitting on me."

"Can you get your mind off sex for one minute and get it back on...sex."

Woody couldn't help but grin as he watched a quickly-becoming-drunk Matt try to make sense of what they were talking about.

Matt waved his hand in the air as if to erase whatever sound waves were left to his comment. "What I mean is when you get on that plane tomorrow morning you have someone to go home too. You need to track her down NOW and make sure she is there to meet you at the gate," Matt said with a conviction that comes moments before admitting you're very drunk.

"That way you can take her straight home and screw your brains out until you've totally purged out all the bullshit you've put in there since we were first handed this Godforsaken assignment. You're a fucking lucky dog Hoyt," he reiterated.

Woody finally pulled the label off his beer and laid it on the stack he already had off. "I'll be sure to tell Jordan we finally have your blessing."

"I'm serious. Don't fuck it up Hoyt."

Woody couldn't help himself. "I thought you just told me to go forth and fuck..."

Matt was silent. Woody looked over to make sure he hadn't passed out. He found Seely staring blindly at the ceiling. The look on his face was one that reminded Woody of himself...the first time he saw Jordan and JD together. When Matt spoke again his words were soberly clear.

"Don't let some narrow-minded macho ideal of how a guy should act screw what you have up. A woman needs to know exactly how you feel. Then when you see without a shadow of a doubt she knows for sure...you have to tell her again and do anything and everything to show her...over and over, and over again. Everyday, every minute...because there is always someone else, in the wings, that will...and you'll be spending your evenings alone to your cat...your goddamned flea bitten cat...

"I have a goldfish. Actually he's pretty good company..."

Woody waited for Matt to come back screaming at him that he's missing the point...but the lump on the other bed was quiet. Matt was out...cold.

Woody thumbed his phone. It was two in the morning in Boston. Since she wasn't home she was either busy at work...or just busy. The pad of his thumb danced over the speed dial button and before he could second guess himself like he had all night he punched in her cell.


	8. Talk to Me

**Chapter Eight**

**Talk to Me**

Jordan jumped at the sound of her ringing cell phone. She reached for it in the clip on the side of her belt while at the same time casting dull eyes on the alarm clock on Woody's night stand. _Two fucking a.m in the morning…who in the hell..._ "Cavanaugh," she managed to get out of her dry mouth with a coherent mumble.

"Where are you?" His words came out in a slur and Woody knew it. Too many beers had fogged his brain and numbed his tongue. But damn it, after that case, everything in him needed to be numb…or lost in her. He figured the phone call would be a compromise they both could live with.

"Woody…" _Woody…Christ, he finally calls and he asks me where I've been at._

"Where are you? I've been calling your apartment all night. No damn answer." This time the words were slurred and sharper than he wanted.

He knew he had no claim on her, despite Matt's words rolling through his head _"She obviously wants to be with you, man. You're one lucky dog, Hoyt."_ But his ring wasn't on her finger and no words of commitment from either one of them had passed their lips—only softly whispered "I love you's" in the cold, gray dawn of too many Boston mornings right before she would leave his apartment to go back to her own. A thought that suddenly rankled him.

If she loved him, why did she leave him alone so often?

Maybe she was just going through the motions. _That would be like her_, his drunken mind processed.

"I'm….I'm at your apartment."

_That sounded weak,_ Woody thought. "At…" he paused to stare blearily at his watch for a minute and calculate the difference in time. "Two in the morning?"

"I got take out and ate it here after I fed Elmo. I must have fallen asleep…" _If he only knew…_

"Oh." Her meek confession effectively took the stormy wind out of his sails. Still…he had a point to prove. He paused for just a moment too long.

"Woody….are you okay?" Concern laced her voice

_No…after what I've seen these past several weeks I don't think I'll ever be okay again…and there's no way I want to tell you what I've witnessed. You don't need to know…now or ever. This is one thing I will protect you from, Jordan._ He blew out a deep sigh. "Yes…no…I don't know. This case….this case, Jordan….I swear…killing is too good for some people…"

"Woody?" More concern.

"Anyway, we did all we could. It's in the Feds hands now." He steadied his voice.

"So it's wrapped up?"

"Yeah. Our end of it anyway." Another deep breath. "Matt and I are flying home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Oh, good." He did hear relief and excitement in her voice. But why?

"Umm…yeah. Our flight should be around three your time."

"I'll get off work and meet you at the airport."

_Breathe again…_ "There's no need, Jordan. My car's at the airport, I can drive myself…"

"But I've missed you, Woody. So much. You said you'd try to call, but you never did, and I worried. A lot I know no news is good news as far as the department is concerned, but you don't know how much you stayed on my mind….."

"Jordan…I need to go and get some sleep. We've got an early day tomorrow…Matt and I still have to tie up some loose ends and…"

_So…this is how it is,_ Jordan thought to herself. _A few weeks apart…and it's gone. Whatever it was we had…it's gone. He didn't even miss me._ She swallowed the lump around the tears in her throat. "Oh," she managed to get out in a whisper. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to keep you …it's just that I haven't heard your voice in so long…" She swallowed again, trying to dissipate the hurt that tightened her chest. "Anyway…have a good flight."

"You, too." _Dumb ass, she's not flying_…"I mean…I'll see you."

But his words were spoken to the dial tone.

* * *

Flight 488 was the flight from hell. If there was a patch of turbulence from Kansas to Boston, Woody was sure the pilot hit it. On purpose. It was God working through the pilot to bring wretched retribution to Woody for drinking himself into hangover hell.

The only thing that had gone right was that there were no delays…no long layovers. Woody found himself on the Logan concourse with Matt at 3 p.m. on the nose. "Do you need a ride?" Matt asked groggily. If possible he was more hung over than Woody. When Woody finally stopped drinking beer last night, Seeley was still four ahead of him.

"Nah, I have my car."

"Good. I didn't feel like dragging your sorry ass home anyway. Besides, she's probably waiting for you between the sheets. Go home and enjoy, Hoyt."

Woody nodded gingerly, careful not to move his head too suddenly. Matt had no idea that the conversation with Jordan had ended so disastrously last night. Woody had picked up the phone a half a dozen times to call Jordan back before the last beer kicked in with an easy tide and lolled him into unconsciousness. "Yeah … see you tomorrow."

"If you're lucky. Or unlucky. If you're lucky, Cavanaugh will have you handcuffed to the bed …"

But Woody was already walking away and Matt's words drifted off on the afternoon Boston breeze. He didn't want to confess to his partner that he had probably screwed up the best thing in his life. Resolutely he walked through the gate to where his Chevelle was supposed to be.

Only it wasn't there.

Instead it was her waterlogged El Camino with her propped against the side. "Hi, detective. Going my way?" she asked, her voice purposely silkily seductive.

It didn't hurt she had on a skirt that was split up to a place he was trying not to think about and a shirt that barely covered the essentials. He mentally shook his head. _No…until I find out where she's going with this relationship….what….wait…_ "Jordan, where the hell is my car?"

She smiled then. A slow, seductive curve of her lips as she reached for his bags and tossed them in the back of her truck. "Nigel. The man is a miracle worker."

Woody groaned. Nigel must have located his extra set of spare keys…or found another set through his computer voodoo. "Okay…so where…"

"Don't worry. Your baby's safe. Now…unless you want to walk, I suggest you get in," she purred.

Woody swallowed hard as she held the door open for him. "Jordan…why"

"You said you'd see me when you got back. But you didn't tell me when. I decided to make it now." She pulled out of the parking deck and onto the freeway. Woody leaned back in his seat and tried not to pump the imaginary break on his side of the car as she weaved in and out of traffic. "Christ, Jordan…you're gonna get a ticket and get us both in trouble."

Silence from her side of the car.

"Jordan?"

More silence. _I have screwed this up more than I imagined…oh shit. I am in deep shit…what the hell? _The turn off for his apartment came and went at her blinding rate of speed. "Jordan…where are you taking me?"

Still silence.

His answer came only when she pulled into the parking lot of her Pearle Street apartment. Woody blew out an irritated sigh. "Jordan….I'm tired…"

"And hung over." Her words broke her silence.

"And that. So I don't think I'm really up to spending the day with you. I want to go home, take a hot shower, and sleep for a week…"

"This is not about you, Hoyt," she snapped as she unbuckled her seat belt, got out of the car and walked around to his side, jerking the door open. "This is about me. Get your ass out of the car. Now."

He had no choice. Jerkily he got out of the car, his anger barely contained beneath the surface of his skin. "If you think after all I've been through that I want to talk…"

"Believe me, talking is the last thing on my mind."

Still fuming, he followed her inside the door of her apartment. "Then what do you want? Sex? That's the only thing this whole relationship has ever been about," he said, nearly shouting after her as she walked into her bedroom. "I've been away for a few weeks chasing one of the worst perverts that ever walked on the face of God's earth and when I get back all you want is _sex_? Well let me tell you one thing, Jordan Cavanaugh…"

"I want you to take as shower," Her soft reply wilted his wrath when she walked back into the living room with two fluffy towels. "Alone, for your information."

"A shower?"

Jordan nodded, swallowed, and looked down at her feet. "I don't know everything, Woody, but Renee' told me this was a hellacious case. The worst." She raised her eyes. "I just want you to relax…let me take care of you for a change." She held the towels out to him with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please…"

"A shower?" he repeated. She nodded.

_She wants to take care of me…_ Woody shook his head, mentally trying to sort all of this out. "Okay…" He stumbled into the bathroom, noting that Jordan had fleeced his apartment of his shaving kit…his shampoo…everything he normally used. For twenty minutes he stood under the hot spray and tried to take stock of why she was doing this…why did she want to take care of him for a change…do something for him that he was so good and accustomed to doing for her?

Try as he might the puzzle pieces didn't fit. Wrapping one of the towels around him, he emerged from the bathroom to find her bedroom quiet and dark…except for the scented candles she had lit. "There's a pair of your sweatpants on the bed," he heard her voice call out from the kitchen.

"Thanks. But Jordan…why…I need to go…"

"You need to stay right where you're at. Don't go anywhere. Don't leave the bedroom."

"Jordan…"

"What?" This time her voice came from the bedroom doorway. He turned at the sound and swallowed hard. Two glasses of wine and a short black robe. And if she had on anything under that, there wasn't a lot of it. She handed him one of the glasses before polishing off what was left in hers. "Lie down," she ordered.

"Lie…lie…down." _Christ, she's got me stammering…_

"You heard me. Lie down. On your stomach."

Woody breathed out a sigh of resolution and stretched out on her bed…that she had already turned the sheets back on. He wrapped his arms around one of her pillows and breathed in her scent that still lingered there. A shower…soft sheets…the comfort of knowing she was with him…his eyes closed against his will and he felt himself begin to relax.

"This might be cold, but it'll warm up in just a second." He felt and then smelt lavender oil. "It's supposed to help you unwind." Jordan began to knead the oil into his tight neck and back muscles, straddling his hips with her legs.

For long moments there was no sound as she worked…feeling the muscles and sinews begin to unkink and uncoil themselves. An involuntary moan escaped his lips. "Feel good?" she whispered in his ear.

"Oh God….you don't know how good."

"That's what I'm going for. Now where else do you need it?"

"Over to the right….under the shoulder blade…"

Another moan. Evidently she had hit pay dirt. Just the effect she was after.

Woody continued to direct her as her hands worked their way down his back, with Jordan feeling the satisfaction of him relaxing more and more under her touch. When the last muscle was finally worked, she rubbed the oil in one more time and slipped off his hips, kneeling beside the bed. Running her fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp, she looked him in the eyes. "Now tell me what happened, Woody. Don't try to spare me the details or try to candy coat it. You need to talk. I want to be the one you talk to."

"Jordan, it was awful…I don't want you to hear…"

"I'm a big girl, Woods." She ran her hand down the side of his face. "Talk to me."

Woody turned over and sat up. Reaching over to the side of the bed, he pulled her up out of the floor, back on the bed facing him. "You're sure?"

"Yes. Whatever was out there affected you. And that affected me…us…I love you too much to let you deal with it alone."


	9. Partners

**Chapter Nine**

**Partners**

Maybe it was because she'd slowly but steadily been working through all of his defense mechanisms from the airport to where they sat together right now on the bed or maybe it was just his hangover wearing off, but Woody almost cried at her last words.

"Oh…okay…" She didn't want him to deal with it alone. He'd had Matt on the case to get drunk and talked to but there conversations rarely got further than 'What kinda sick bastard does this to little kids?' before they were both passed out in a chair.

Yes, the two men were partners but Woody was quickly realizing that being partners on the job was much different than being partners at home. And that was what Jordan was offering. Not just the sex, not just the comfort, but the actual act of listening to everything that was upsetting him She was offering the whole package and after all he'd been through Woody was happy to lean on her.

Four hours. It took him four hours to sum up everything that had happened on the case from the color of the walls in the room he and Matt shared to the brand of tennis shoes the perp was wearing when they finally got him.

Throughout the retelling, Woody moved from sitting up across from Jordan, to leaning back against the headboard, to a brief but healthy cry in her arms, and finally to the both of them snuggled up together in each other's arms on top of the covers.

It was then that they moved on from talking about the case to talking about EVERY case that had ever left a deep and lasting impression on their souls. Some of the cases were ones they had heard of, others they had even worked together -- like the case with the cancer patients seeking euthanasia, a case that had had a particularly strong effect on Woody.

"I should have figured it out then.." Jordan said shaking her head where it lay against Woody's chest.

"Figured what out?" he asked softly and kissed the top of her head.

Jordan looked off as if remembering the very moment it should have been clear to her.

"When we found that woman near the end of the case and she was dying of cancer, bald from the chemo, the look in her eyes was just pleading and you left the room. I should have known right then that someone close to you had died of cancer." She whispered. "I should have tried harder to question you about it, to…to get to know more about you…I'm sorry for that Woody," she said looking up into his eyes.

Woody just shrugged. "Don't sweat it. It's not like I asked you a ton about your life anyway…" he trailed off and glanced at the clock, realizing with a little yawn that it was past two a.m.

"Well…so?" Jordan asked and looked up at him again. Her stare made Woody's eyes leave the blinking digital clock and he furrowed his brow trying to remember the question.

"So what?" he asked laying on his back more so that Jordan could snuggle into his side.

"So….ask away..anything you want to know…I'll tell you," she said after a moment of hesitation. Woody's gaze down into her eyes told Jordan he knew she was dead serious and he returned the sentiment.

"You too.." he whispered leaning forward to kiss her lips gently, sealing the deal they had just made to bare their souls for the other to see. It was a scary though for both of them, even as the conversation slowly began.

Woody told Jordan about his childhood. The mother he barely remembered, the father who had always been loving and fun but had turned cold and distant after he lost the love of his life.

He told Jordan about the nights he'd have to make dinner for Cal, get his brother to do his homework and then finally do his own when Cal was asleep for the night.

Jordan told Woody about the affairs she knew her mother was having, the pain that came with being a child and so confused about what exactly it was that was going on.

She told him more about her brother James and how Max had given him away because he found his wife holding the child under water in the bath tub. She told him about her first kiss, the way a J.D. Salinger book had changed her life and all the dreams she had to become a heart surgeon when she was a little girl and how the journey had ended at the county morgue with her as a Medical Examiner.

In the span of one evening and early morning, Woody Hoyt and Jordan Cavanaugh learned more about one another than they had in a five year friendship. And right before they fell asleep to the sun rising over the city skyline, they promised each other to only learn more as their relationship progressed.

"I love you, Jordan," Woody whispered softly as his tired eyes slipped shut and he tightened his arms around her.

Jordan squeezed back and trailed a fingertip up and down his spine once softly. "I love you too Woody," she whispered against his neck just as sleep claimed her as well.

* * *

It was noon when they woke again. Woody woke to the sound of a large truck honking out on the street and Jordan to the movement of the man in her bed who she vowed never to be far from again.

"Hey." Woody smiled and looked down at her with new eyes. Eyes that had seen not now only her body but her soul, laid out for him without fear or expecting anything in return.

"Good morning, Woody," she said back with a raspy voice from having talked so lengthily and emotionally the night before. She sat up and stretched, making the robe she wore to bed slip off the shoulder closest to Woody who had sat up beside her.

Before she turned her head she knew he was there. His warm breath on her neck, a hand reaching out to hold her hip, letting her know that while last night they had rekindled the emotional aspects of their once battered and bruised relationship, he wanted to show her now just what it was to make love to the person who knows you best in the world.

"Shh…just let me take care of you…" Woody whispered when her mouth opened to say something.

She turned her head a little more to look into his eyes and there she found a piece of her heart that had been missing for so long. With the loss of her mother, never knowing her brother and the recent strain on the relationship she had with Max, she almost didn't recognize the feeling at first. Home. She remembered now. Woody was home. Woody was family.

The idea took her breath away for a moment and as if he realized it, Woody gave it back to her in one long, slow kiss as he laid her back on the bed.

He began with tender touches, to her sides, her long arms, the tops of her thighs and relished in the chills it sent coursing through her body to his.

When he could feel the poke of her nipples through the thin, silky fabric of the robe and the warmth emitting from between her legs he sensed that it was okay to move on.

"Yes." Jordan answered without hesitation when he reached for the belt of the robe. She was rewarded with a look of sheer hunger and longing for what she knew Woody had been missing since this damn case began and took him temporarily out of her life.

Woody looked over her naked body with a new appreciation for the all that this woman before him had been through before, with and after he had loved her. Like a well coursed map he could trace the history he'd just heard the night before through scars on her body, worry lines on her face and the deep burning in her eyes that he'd always been so attracted to. If nothing else, Jordan Cavanaugh was the most passionate woman he'd ever met.

With a slow, tender smile he stretched out over top of her, tenting his body over hers and assaulting her lips with enough deep, hungry kisses to make up for all of those that he'd missed in those long, terrible, lonely nights in the mid west.

They both moaned and sighed against each other's mouths as their bodies tried desperately to touch and be reacquainted. Woody waited for Jordan to make the next move. Quid pro quo, this was for both of them after all.

He nodded and moved his kisses to her collar bone when she slid her hands down his smooth, warm back to the waist of his sweat pants. With one fluid motion Jordan dragged them down and let him kick them away from the bed as he settled finally, tenderly, completely down on and into her with a sigh he'd been holding since the morning he'd left for Kansas.

Jordan sighed back to him with a little nod that told him she'd missed him just as much. They moved together then, fluidly, perfectly in synch. The times they had been together before Woody left had been everything she hoped but what they had now was everything she hopes for and much more.

When the moment came to end their fevered dance Jordan pressed her lips to Woody's ear and whispered a soft and clear 'I love you' which drew a long happy sigh from her partner as he pinned her hips to the mattress as he came.

"I love you too, Jordan…I swear to God I do.." he promised as they snuggled into each other's arms a moment later.

They lay quiet for a few long moments, just holding each other in the early morning light. The sunlight hit the edge of the mattress where their night of talking and their morning of rekindling their physical bond had left the covers in disarray.


	10. You Have to Start Somewhere

**Chapter Ten**

**You Have to Start Somewhere**

Wounds take time to heal. There's the slow progress back to health…the scab falls off and the wound is now whole.

However, the scar remains.

For Woody and Matt, it took six months. Six whole months for the perverted bastard they had pursued to stand trial and be pronounced guilty. When Walcott had dropped by the precinct to tell them that the jury had rendered a guilty verdict, Woody and Matt looked at each other with grim smiles.

Lady Justice might grind her wheels slowly, but at least they turn. And sometimes in the right direction.

More discussions…over what could have been done better and faster…were made over beers that night at O'Hara's. Matt had cajoled Woody into meeting him there after their shift was over. To hoist a Guinness over their victory and chew up the details of the case.

A detective's own form of debriefing.

Woody tried to dodge it…all he wanted to do was go home to Jordan. He had called her immediately after he had found out the verdict. Now all he wanted to do was celebrate in her arms. But he felt he owed it to Matt to toast themselves once or twice before packing it in and going home.

After an hour of sitting hunched over the counter at the bar, Woody tossed some bills down on the counter, stood, and stretched. "It's finished, Matt. Thank God it's over and thank God we only catch a case like this once in a blue moon."

Matt nodded, still nursing his second Guinness. "Heading home to the 'little woman'?" He chuckled at his own joke. He thought of Jordan Cavanaugh as many things. The _little woman_ wasn't one of them.

"Yeah. She actually cooked tonight. So I better get home to eat it before it burns."

"You sound positively domesticated or whipped one, Hoyt."

"Nope." Woody shrugged into his coat and buttoned up against the cold of a Boston's winter night. "I've just realized what's important to me…and who's important to me. And that it all can change in a heartbeat. Especially in my line of work. And Jordan's and my relationship is at the top of the list."

Matt looked over his partner with a jaded eye. But the skepticism passed quickly. Hoyt had changed, but lately so had Cavanaugh. He had seen both of them leave a crime scene or the office after a hard day – defeated, worn down, nearly obsessed with finding out the "whodunit and why."

Then seen both of them come back in the next day renewed and invigorated. Ready to face the odds once more and find the bad guy.

Matt could only contribute that to one thing: They recharged each other. That somewhere in that relationship, for all the hot sex Hoyt hinted at and passionate looks he had seen the two give each other, they found a solace and a peace with each other that Matt was lacking in his life.

And he knew it was his own damn fault. He could have had it, too. Only he had been too chicken to tell Lily exactly how he felt and she slipped right through his fingers into Bug's hands.

"That's good, Woody," Matt finally replied. "And I'm glad for you. Really glad for you. Go home to her. Celebrate. Have a damn good reason for being a half hour late tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, man," Woody replied, shaking his partner's hand. "And you….you…."

"Never mind me. Go home to her. Now."

Woody turned and walked to the door, turning to give his partner one more last good-bye wave before he stepped out into the Boston evening, the bell over the door jangling behind him.

Matt downed the rest of his Guinness in a gulp. _That Hoyt is one lucky bastard,_ he thought. _One lucky bastard…_ But Woody had worked for it…and it hadn't been an easy path to a solid relationship with Cavanaugh. That much he was sure of. Still, Hoyt had to start somewhere.

And Matt guessed he did, too. Pulling out his cell phone, he punched five on speed dial.

"Simmons."

"Lu…this is Matt. I was wondering if you had dinner plans…."

Maybe it was time for his wounds to heal.


End file.
